I have recently started a book about self-directed learning mainly to help develop how we parent our kids. It talks about the benefits of helping children learn how to shape their own path and how this empowers them with tools to navigate the ups and downs of life as they grow older.
This article is not a book review but instead a few thoughts on patterns I have seen for many years in relation to the power of knowing what we want from any given situation, whether that be the objectives from an on-court practice session all the way through to shaping an entire life.
What is so important about agency in making our own decisions towards a given goal, contrary to just doing things for someone else or because ‘it’s just what I do’? What happens to us as human beings when we are truly driving our ownship?
Without going too deeply into neuroscience, our brains respond very well to purpose and the freedom to choose. The state of knowing what we are doing and why we are doing it brings a sense of clarity and motivation to the nervous system which leads to feelings of fulfillment and a strong drive to keep going. Conversely, doing something that doesn’t hold meaning, is someone else’s goal or just simply lacks any tangible reason causes a demotivated state and under more extreme circumstances, over time can lead to anxiety and depression.
Not knowing why we are doing something, and lacking control over the outcome is actually stressful to the nervous system as it sets off alarm bells as an activity that could be threatening. We like to have control. We don’t do well with uncertainty, it’s a threat. Life is uncertain, squash is uncertain, so the better we can become at shaping our own path amongst the chaos the better we will operate under pressure on and off the court.
As many of you already know I believe that squash provides the perfect environment to develop the tools we need for a great life. I find this particularly powerful when working with young people, partly because they still have so much potential ahead and with the right tools can thrive in the future. Squash asks big questions: What are you made of? Can you find a way through this difficult match? Are you able to pick yourself up after a tough loss and keep going? In order to answer such challenging questions, find solutions, move forward, and work hard we need energy. I don’t just mean the kind of energy we get from food, I mean emotional energy. We get positive emotional energy from doing something that we have chosen to do because it excites and motivates us. When we can clearly see what the purpose behind our squash is and why it’s worth all the effort to face the big challenges, we will have almost unlimited energy to tackle the obstacles that will inevitably follow.
At the beginning of my recent online course ‘Mastering your Mindset,’ I talk about setting a clear vision at the start of any squash project. The vision gives us the clarity of where we are going and why. Spend some time shaping your vision for the squash journey you are on, no matter how big or small. Build your own authentic vision, not someone else’s. Start with the questions: ‘What would a great outcome look like in relation to my main goal?’ ‘How could I best maximize every opportunity along the way to thrive on this journey’?
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